Week 23: Whodunit? A Tet Mystery

Went to Saigon this week to spend the Tet holiday with my aunt's family. While the idea of almost 2 weeks away from Hanoi really appeals to me, I am not excited about missing out on work. So in a burst of wishful thinking, I've brought a ton of work to do while in Saigon.

During my mad rush to get the hell out of Hanoi, a gaudy bouquet as big as a tire showed up at my house. No joke--the thing was HUGE. I had no clue who would send me flowers, and looking at the card did not help. The message on the card read, "Wishing Martina a happy Tet, and a new year filled with happiness, health, and prosperity. Signed, Nguyen Dang Khoa." What the...? Who the....? I don't know a Nguyen Dang Khoa! The business card that accompanied the note said that he was a lawyer. I dont' know any lawyers in Vietnam! I've never even been to the side of town where his office is. The flowers did not flatter me, they creeped me out. This guy--who I don't know--found out where I live. I don't think its romantic that he found out my address and sent me flowers; it freaks me out.

My friend M suggested that I call to say thank you and be polite, but I have decided to not call the number on the card. In situations like these, I strictly follow a "don't talk to strangers" policy. I don't think that I should reward creepiness with courtesy. I also know that if I don't react, sooner or later the creep will make himself known to me. I have a feeling that the person in question is the guy from the library (see week 16). Will keep you posted as the plot thickens.

Celebrated Tet in Saigon. As I expected, Tet was nothing short of mindnumbingly boring. Basically, I sat around and ate all day. On the first day of the lunar holiday, the entire family got together for a hufe family meal. At night, a constant stream of visitors would come bearing gifts for my aunt and uncle. Well-wishes told all around. All my cousins wished me "love and marriage in the new year." Even my 14-year-old nephew Paul wished that "May you be more beautiful by the day so you can catch a husband!" Geez, I wonder what kind of message they were sending me? OK, now I realize that for Vietnamese, a 27-year-old unmarried woman is a bit unusual, but come on! Must I feel guilty about my life choices?

During my stay, I fell in love with Saigon all over again. Saigon reigns superior over Hanoi in a lot of things--food (better and more of it), nightlife (better and more of it), and shopping (you get the idea). People are also more straightforward, friendly, and confident here. Even the atmosphere here seems less stifling, less oppressive. To me, Saigon represents a true metropolis, When I walk out on the street in Saigon, no one looks at me. Hallelujah--I am an urban nonentity! In contrast, Hanoi is too seeped in a kind of village mentality; sometimes it seems as if everyone is in my business. The constant, inquisitive, eyes watching--the first action of voyeurs searching for someone to judge.

Song currently playing on iPod: All My Exes Live in Texas (George Strait).

Hung out a lot with my 3-year-old nephew Gia Bao (in Vietnam, you refer to your cousin's child as niece/nephew, and the child calls you uncle/aunt). For some reason, they boy is completely obsessed with Singapore. He and I have this inside joke--whenever I call him "Bao Singapore, " he answers with "Aunt Martina Singapore." It makes absolutely no sense at all, but I find it amusing, watching him burst into laughter. After his bath, Bao ran up to me, wearing nothing but a t-shirt. Devilish smile on his adorable face, lifted his shirt, pointed to his wee wee, and said, "Singapore." He then erupted in peals of laughter on the floor. I think Freud was onto something when he talks about little boys and their phalluses. Oh, the innocence of infantile sexuality...

Perhaps the only amusing thing (outside of my Singporean nephew), was the Orange Fiasco. A distant relative of ours gave my aunt's family a huge 50 pound sack of oranges that might as well been thrown away. Its as if she did not want to waste her money to have the moldy oranges hauled away, so she just had my cousin Tu come over, and gave my aunt the oranges as a Tet gift. I don't know about most people, but when I usually give gifts of food, I make sure its something that I myself would consume. But the woman got her "just desserts" when she came over to wish my aunt a Happy Tet. We squeezed orange juice out of her gross oranges and served it to her! I asked her, "Auntie, isn't this juice delicious? You gave us the oranges!" Needless to say, she got embarassed, quickly excused herself, and went home. Have posted a picture of the nasty ass oranges (By the way, oranges are green here in VN.) My cousins and I now have an inside joke: "oranges" now refer to mean-spirited, cheap, and petty people.

I wanted to wish all my family and friends a Year of the Dog (Binh Tuat) filled with happiness, health, prosperity, and good luck. May your wishes come to fruitioni! And may you avoid all "oranges" in the coming year! Chuc Mung Nam Moi!!!

Love Always,
Martina